Last week, I shared “When to contact your pastor”. I failed to mention that this was provided by someone else. But OK, so maybe you don’t want the pastor to know your business. Perhaps you do not know the confidentiality He is Called by God to keep (many don’t).
We see in the movies where the Roman Catholic Priest is not allowed to divulge who the murder is, even though he knows because it was revealed “under the seal” of the Confessional booth. And while we do have differences from our brothers and sisters in the Roman Catholic church concerning Confession (see The Apology of the Augsburg Confession / Art. XIIb (VI): Of Confession and Satisfaction), we do hold to the confidentiality of confession “under the seal”. That is, what is said in the confidence of private confession is between you and God, not you and the pastor. He cannot divulge it to anyone, not even his wife. In our ordination and installation vows we are to forgive the sins of those who repent, and never divulge sins confessed to him. This is how the pastor serves you in the vocation of the Office of Holy Ministry.
Yet perhaps the issue is not a sin you are struggling with that is bothering you. Perhaps it is something you simply wish to talk to you pastor about as that in-person seelsorger sent by God for the care of your body, spirit, and mind. Then confidentiality is as you desire it. As an example, Prayers will not be said in church for you unless you want it to be added to the Prayer of the Church. While Scripture says that prayers of the saints are a great benefit, your confidentiality is honored and I will include them in my prayers as I pray for each member of the congregation.
But I am still afraid to go to you pastor! Please! Don’t be. I am your servant. I cannot serve you if I am in the dark about your needs. Yes, I am called to point out your sin so that you can repent of them, but that is not my full-time job! As your servant sent by God for you, I have various means of applying the salve of the Gospel. I can pray, bless, read Scripture, and perhaps most importantly, be an ear. Still, I am not clairvoyant, you have to tell me. Sometimes repeatedly (grin).
But what if my problem is with you pastor? How am I to handle that?
The answer to that is the same whether it is between you and me, your pastor, and you and another person, following the guidance of Matthew 18. Be open and upfront about it with the person you have an issue with. The goal of course is forgiveness, solving and diffusing issues without giving the devil a foothold between us, turning it into factions and disunity.
Perhaps it is helpful to establish a few courtesies of fellow sinners in service to each other
· If you have a problem with me, come to me in person so we can discuss it and I will do the same if I have a problem with you.
· If someone comes to you about me, please send them to me and I will do the same for you (if they come to me about you).
· If they consistently come to you and still can’t come to me privately, offer to come with them (not as a mediator or interpreter, but as a quiet, supportive friend).
· If they still refuse to address it face-to-face, pray to God to heal the situation and let the Holy Spirit handle it in His time and way. Just be careful to always put the best construction on both people’s characters and refrain from rumors. We have a common enemy (sin, Satan, and the world) and it is not each other!
· Of course, confidence is still maintained. If it is supposed to be confidential, don’t tell. Yet, if not, feel free to share with me to seek on how to handle the situation. The danger here then, is manipulation. Do not manipulate and do not allow yourself to be manipulated into aiding division of the body.
· And finally, when in doubt; Ask. We will look to Scripture for His Will in the matter.
Please remember: God has provided you and I for each other and through the forgiveness earned by Christ, given us Himself, to endure the evil of the world together, with Him, until the end.
Together in Christ,
Pastor Terry Makelin
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